Before I get to another story, as previously promised, I have to give a quick thank you. After reading my previous post, a great friend quickly dropped off a health enhancing gift for me. It's cranberry apple granola. Yes, fiber. Some genius in Ely, MN found my life calling before I did. It's not so much the product as the brilliant name they gave it that excites me. Well, actually I had the product for breakfast this morning which did lead to a different kind of excitement. But the name! Think of the name you would give cranberry apple granola. That's it! They named it Crapola! How cool is that? It's brilliant. I'd love to be a distributor of Crapola. On second thought, most of the people I work with would say I am already.
So anyway back to my safety. Lots of people have asked me how Benn got to be a good Whitewater Slalom paddler. I'd love to take credit but too many people know otherwise. I made the mistake of getting in a boat and trying it myself. Even worse, I did it in public.
Instead of just driving him to practice and races when he was too young to do so himself, I decided to get a boat and prove my prowess. I did stay in very good shape. My arms and shoulders got stronger. I learned to hold my breath a long time, but only those of us who were upside down a lot needed that skill. I became tolerant of being cold and wet. I learned all the jargon. In fact only a few things about the sport really escaped me. Those few things I never quite mastered included waves, holes, drops, fast moving currents, gates and precision paddling. Other than that I pretty much had it dialed in. Oh yeah, and speed, I never quite mastered speed, but really that was only because those other things kept getting in the way.
I was more of an endurance guy. Endurance is key in paddling. Once while returning from a race in Colorado, I drove ten straight hours with only one break for gas and bio-requirements. Benn slept. We weren't talking much because he had just gotten a ticket driving in Oklahoma.
I did have some career highlights though other than endurance driving. I was nearly a human highlight film. I only missed it by two words. I was more of a human depth gauge. Refer back to aforementioned breath holding. Highlights: 1) I once got pinned, flipped, washed under a rock and fortunately out the other side. 2) I missed a move so badly that I ended up cartwheeling end over end in a hydraulic between gates 8 and 10. You won't see that in the Olympics. 3) I was once pinned so long between two rocks that I delayed the race. It was US Nationals. It was on local TV. I never saw the video, but I picture myself like the Nascar wreck that everybody tunes in for.
Constantly delivering that level of entertainment value takes a toll on an athlete. Even Brett Favre may really have to stop one day. That's not why I retired though. Benn got older and moved out. He stopped getting so many tickets and drives for himself, but that's still not why I retired. For a while after he moved out I continued to answer the call on occasion. He called me once to run a creek after work that he and Jim knew was high from the rain. They spent so long rescuing me from a big keeper hydraulic I was stuck in that we finished the second half of the creek in the dark. I didn't get as many calls after that, but that's still not why I retired.
Remember from above my great friend? She has a daughter named Kate. I met Kate when she was probably 14. Kate had very little paddling experience but wanted to learn. Who could better teach her what not to do? I started training with Kate. She had some actually good coaches as well, but I was her partner. We practiced, trained and even traveled to some races together. It was during that time that I did something Benn never did. I won the illusive Alabama Cup; a series or three citizen races. Maybe not as spectacular as going to the Olympics or cartwheeling in mid-race, but a good thing nevertheless. I don't think Benn ever actually competed in all three races the same year which is a requirement to win the cup but that's beside the point. He never won the cup. I did.
Kate won the cup. Only two or maybe three years after she started paddling, and in fact the year after I won the cup, the greatest victory of my slalom career, Kate beat me like a rented mule. Then she slept while I drove all the way home. That's why I retired. I was no longer a champion. I was again an endurance driver. Kate is in college now, studying in France this year, and still loves me dearly, or so I will remind her when she comes home. Do you suppose Kate's mom after all these years is finally trying to give me back the crapola that Kate beat out of me?
No comments:
Post a Comment