I had a significant personal achievement last night. At the gym I did essentially the same workout as Davis. I suppose I should define “essentially”. What I mean by that is that I lifted the same weight that he lifted and for the same number of repetitions. I’m kind of proud of that. It doesn’t even matter to me that me that I was doing squats and he was doing bench. At my age you have to take pride where you can get it. Addie just spanked me mercilessly in a game of Wii Tennis and I need this one right now, okay?
Okay if you don’t get the difference, squat is lifting with your legs and bench is with your arms and chest. So Davis… I suppose some readers might not know who Davis is. Davis is our spare emergency child. We keep him stored in another state in case something happens and we need a replacement for one of the main kids. Somebody recently said that Davis is handsome like me, implying that we look alike, and I suppose implying a bit more than that. Davis gave that a big thumbs down. Everything about Davis is big, including his thumbs.
When that “handsome like me” kind of thing happens, Davis usually claims to be adopted. He may actually have something there. I suppose it’s possible for some people to perceive that Davis looks like me. I, on the other hand, actually see a pretty strong resemblance between Davis and a famous TV personality. I’ve attached a couple of pictures as evidence. See if you can tell which one is the Jack Links Beef Jerky Spokes…. What is the right term here? Spokesquatch? Maybe it would be easier if I said see if you can guess which one is Davis.
I used to spend a lot more time with Davis before we sent him to storage in Illinois. In fact it is from spending time with Davis that I picked up my current hobby. I think I mentioned that I am learning to throw the hammer. Addie swims and wants me to do that with her, but picture me in a Speedo. Now wipe that image forever from your mind, and never let me see that look in your eyes. There are things a man in his 50's shouldn't wear. I don't have to wear those things to throw hammer.
I can’t say that men in their 50’s are exactly flocking to The Hammer Throw in spite of the more favorable wardrobe options. I do have some company. By some standards it’s catching on. Here, in fact, are some things less common than men in their 50’s who throw the hammer; men who have given birth, men who understand women and Christmas presents I have given Marsha that were just the right thing. Statistically speaking I suppose I am somewhat rare, say one in…How many 50-something men are there in Georgia?
I like throwing the hammer even though it’s so unusual. I must admit that I rarely tell people I throw, but only for fear of having to demonstrate in public. The Hammer throw keeps me in some semblance of shape, allows me to learn a new skill, and gives me a way to stay connected to the spare emergency child while he’s away in storage.
Davis and I once threw in the same meet, in fact, sort of in the same flight. We were throwing the weight, which is the indoor version of the hammer, shorter and heavier so it doesn’t go as far. We were only sort of in the same flight because we weren’t exactly throwing the same weight. His was the version for college age and open competitors. I was throwing the version for real men with life experience and maturity beyond 50 years. Translated that means his was 35 pounds and mine was 25 pounds. I was ahead of him briefly, just before he took his first throw.
It doesn’t bother me that Davis threw further than me that one time. I’m bigger than that. I don’t have a problem with llll….loooo…finishing second to my kids whether it’s Wii Tennis or throwing heavy stuff. Or actually I should say that I wouldn’t mind if I ever did finish second to one of them. After all, we really aren’t competing against each other. I compete in a different age group when it’s convenient to me. Sometimes I compete in a different species group, reference the pictures.
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