whether you wanted it or not

In case you don't remember, which will encompass the vast majority of people, none of whom will actually come to this site, I blogged my way to China and back when Benn went to the Olympics in 2008.  All of the people who were devoted followers of that blog have asked me occasionally since I stopped, if I was ever going to blog again.  Well the answer for both of you is finally, whether you wanted it or not, yes.

So why is the title unrelated to the Olympics?  Well I am a regular person and there's no guarantee at this point that I'll be in London.  London 2012 is a long road from here in many ways.  Don't worry.  There is plenty to talk about that is related to the Olympics; especially opportunities for me to spend money to give at least one family member a chance to get there.  I'll talk about that stuff.  I won't promise to recycle old jokes like "five ring fever" and "MOO."  But surely I can keep two people on the hook without cheesy joke recycling. 

In the mean time, can you stand it if I talk about some regular stuff?  Like what happened today?  I felt pretty crummy all weekend.  You see I have taken up throwing the Hammer and Weight like my other son, Davis does.  It's a violently strenuous activity that I have no business doing, so of course I'm doing it, duh.   And of course I have developed a problem with my neck and shoulders.  In my defense it's safer than when I paddled Whitewater Slalom with Benn, but that's another story. 

This story finds me grumpy, irritable, rude and even mean at work.  Few people noticed the difference, but I decided to call the Chiropractor.  On the way to the Chiropractor I noticed I also felt feverish and related it to the lower left side abdominal pain I had experienced for two days.  I made it in to see two Doctors in one day for separate maladies.  They both said the same thing.  They said it with a straight face, which hurt even worse.  I should perhaps lower my expectations of forever being able to jump in and do whatever activities my kids choose to do.  I forgave them since they really don't know me very well.

The Chiropractor looked at ex rays and seemed to be wondering how that neck held up a head the size of mine.  He actually asked if I had ever had a serious neck injury. I said, "Dude, what do you expect?  It's been holding up this majestic sized head for 53 years."   He treated me and wants me to come back in a couple of days.  Since my wife and son think he's a bone and joint magician I'll go again.  I did promise to tone down the lifting and throwing violence for this week.  We'll see how that goes.

The other doctor lost me when she started talking about something to do with diving and tickling.  I have never combined those activities, so I waited patiently for the antibiotic prescription I knew would come soon and kill my fever.  Then she mentioned my Colonoscopy from earlier this year.  Nothing gets a man's attention like talking about Colonoscopy.  Well one thing does but not the same way.  Anyway I started paying attention.  After picking up my two, yes two antibiotics, I googled Diverticulitis.  Truthfully, I googled Diver and google knew how to spell the rest.  Essentially it sounds like I need more fiber in my diet and I'll be fine. 

That's okay for me.  I like Raisin Bran, but I feel for those around me.  Fiber turns me into a serious crop duster.  Not a familiar term for you?  Have you ever been walking through Walmart and suddenly wondered if a kid nearby didn't quite make it the 400 yards to the one restroom in eight acres of merchandise?  Chances are it wasn't a kid and you were crop dusted.  Seriously, do I need to explain that further?  Ask a kid what I mean.  And yes Walmart is probably the most common place for crop dusting of this sort.

So now it should be easier for you picture me involved in all the activities I expect to blog about over the next few months.  I suppose I could have started with something a little more flattering for me, but that's way harder to come up with, and what the heck.  As you read this blog, I'll be the stiff necked crop duster in each story.